The Exhausting Game: When Forgiveness Becomes Enabling

Let's be honest: a disturbing amount of our energy is spent debating whether to forgive and overlook the actions of those who instigate conflict and disruption. We find ourselves constantly analysing their motives, questioning our reactions, and ultimately, getting trapped in a tiresome and unproductive cycle of psychological manipulation. Meanwhile, genuine acts of kindness and connection are suffocated by the weight of their disruptive influence.

Too often, these individuals treat social dynamics as a playground for manipulation, wielding psychological and sociological tactics to forge damaging groups and associations. They thrive on the chaos they create, while ordinary, well-meaning people are left navigating a minefield of manufactured drama and interpersonal conflict.

The truth is, we shouldn't have to live our lives walking on eggshells, constantly adjusting our behaviour to avoid triggering the next manufactured crisis. We shouldn't have to dedicate our precious time and mental bandwidth to deciphering the motives of those who seem intent on sowing discord.

People are tired. Tired of the predictable patterns, the constant drama, and the feeling of being manipulated. It's time to acknowledge that perpetually forgiving and overlooking bad behaviour isn't virtuous; it's enabling. It allows the cycle to continue, preventing genuine healing and progress.

The solution isn't to become unforgiving monsters. It's to redefine our concept of forgiveness. It's about recognising that allowing certain behaviors to continue under the guise of compassion actually harms the community as a whole.

We need to prioritise forgetting the instances where forgiveness has been exploited, in a psychological way, so we can free ourselves from the burden of past manipulations. This allows us to truly forgive those who demonstrate genuine remorse and a commitment to positive change.

By breaking free from the cycle of enabling, we can create space for authentic connection, genuine empathy, and a social environment where kindness and respect are the norm, not the exception. It's time to stop playing this stupid game. Let's choose instead to foster a world where forgiveness is a genuine act of grace, reserved for those who truly deserve it, and where manipulative behaviour is no longer tolerated. It's time to reclaim our energy and invest it in building a more positive and authentic world.